Caroline My Trauma

(Sold to a Psychiatrist at Douglas Institute in a Therapeutic Environment Version 1; more versions to come) 2024 Acrylic & Ink/Sharpie on Canvas 24 inches X 36 inches Twenty-four years etched in paint. Each brushstroke a testament to the abandonment, the trauma, the grief that shaped me. A sibling, robbed of a chance to be the brother I yearned for, a victim of my grandfather's cruelty. In the emotional wasteland of my family, I searched for solace, finding only fleeting moments with strangers, ultimately abandoned for the intensity of my emotions—a burden they couldn't bear. Yet, in this chaos, I have found my own sanctuary: the shattered yet resilient porcelain doll. A reflection of my fractured self, but also a symbol of the strength I have forged from the fragments. Those fragments became therapy to me; the holes began to have a sense of meaning. Letting go of the words and facing the pain allowed me to gain power over my trauma, and with time, with every brushstroke, I began to heal. Caroline is another spirit of myself. Caroline is the healer, the therapist, the reassurer, and my conscience, the wall that allows myself to vent onto her skin, her fabric., she sacrifices her life for me to survive, she allows herself the canvas/entity of myself to passage through my trauma, to educate, to understand, to process and to start healing.